Independence is Dependence
For people who exist and function through dependence, we tend to over-condemn the idea of it and accord too much praise to being independent. This imbalance, I believe, comes from the place of a partial understanding of what both concepts mean. To a lot of us, independence strictly means financial freedom and that’s exactly why the idea of any one person being absolutely independent seems like a false truth.
From the moment we are born till the day we die, there is a need to depend on someone, or a group of people to unlock a new level. For example, we need our parents to form and nurture us, teachers to teach us, friends & families to keep us emotionally balanced, colleagues to work effectively, the government to provide social amenities and even in terms of attaining financial freedom, we need business contractors/partners to get the business going or an employer who is really impressed by what’s in our portfolios for that dream job. It’s an unending and sometimes, overwhelming cycle of things we need from one another.
The condemnation of dependence, I assume, occurs more at a micro level. When it comes to the relatively smaller things, we have our heads set to think that everyone should have their “small” problems figured out all by themselves. For example, it becomes more of a burden to us when we have that one person who always needs transportation fare or money for food or even a house to sleep in because these are the basics, right? In those moments, it’s easy to forget that we are all in different stages of our lives, moving at different speed levels and all the other motivational things we like to tell ourselves. It becomes easier to say things like, “please get a job” and for the religious, phrases like “depend on God and trust in Him alone” become the order of the day. We forget that dependence on God IS dependence on people — hope that someone somewhere will read the email with your very brilliant proposal in it, will agree to the things you are bold enough to ask for or sometimes, miraculously do “your” needful without you having to ask. Bliss.
This is not to glorify over-dependence but to maybe help us see a more balanced image of what the reality usually is. Maybe if we all take a moment to come down from our high horses, the horses we get on the moment we “attain” independence, we might be able to get the clearer image. That which shows us how life is an “endless” journey of dependence on one another, teaching us to help people when it is really in our powers to and more importantly, without grudging.
Nothing we have is truly our own. So, what then is the basis of human functionality if no one, absolutely no one is willing to be relied on? Be it for one big thing or for the other little thing? We are sojourners in life’s journey of dependence; in our independence, is dependence.
